Sometimes in life, you are faced with horrific problems. Without trying to be dramatic, I think I may have stumbled across the worst problem of all. Ever. Period. Forget world hunger. This is the one. I’ve just realised I’ve got to write an article about our predictions again and I can’t explain all the points again. Unless you want me to? Nah, didn’t think so. What the fuck am I meant to write about? Think Jake, think.
Roll Up, Roll Up, Get Your Predictions! Be In It To Win It Today!
Mexico vs South Korea is the game we are predicting, or South Korea vs Mexico if you want to be proper. How do they decide which is the home team? And what difference does it make, bar the changing room? It certainly doesn’t mean anything kit wise as when Portugal faced Morocco the other day, Portugal wore their away strip despite being ‘at home’. As long as El Tri don their classy green number, who cares whether they’re home or away? Not me.
Do you want to know something which makes this whole situation a lot worse? All of our predictions are very similar. I suppose I could introduce the other two again. Even though they both abandoned me for the preview, Dan & Cameron managed to get their predictions to me. What battle-hardened souls they are! You’ll recall that Dan is absent due to getting caught with a suspicious package at the airport. Cameron, on the other hand, is being investigated for Ronnie Dog espionage as it’s believed he’s leaked secrets. Now, while both of those things might be completely fictional, they’ve taken up word space, which is the important thing.
One that I still haven’t made my mind up on is how to sort the goal timings out. Do we go off official FIFA timings or the minute the actual goal is scored? If a goal is scored in the 17th minute, it means it’s been scored between 16:00 & 16:59, so should we count that as sixteen or seventeen? I guess it will all depend on what happens. If it’s my selection, I think you may see the rules change.
Enough dross from me, here are the predictions…
Starting XI: Ochoa, Salcedo, Ayala, Moreno, Gallardo, Herrera, Guardado, Lozano, Vela, Layun, Chicharito | Score: South Korea 0-1 Mexico | First Goalscorer: Vela | Minute of first goal: 33 | Time of first card: 60:00-69:59 | Time of first corner: 00:00-09:59.
Starting XI: Same as Cameron. | Score: South Korea 0-2 Mexico | First Goalscorer: Chicharito | Minute of first goal: 61 | Time of first card: 50:00-59:59 | Time of first corner: 00:00-09:59.
King Jake’s Predictions
Starting XI: Same as Cameron. | Score: South Korea 0-1 Mexico | First Goalscorer: Layun | Minute of first goal: 45 | Time of first card: 30:00-39:59 | Time of first corner: 00:00-09:59.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Method to our madness? Perhaps. We’ve all gone for the same starting XI as it was the team that Osorio picked against Germany. While Osorio is known for his tinkering, I haven’t seen anything to suggest he’ll mix things up. Cue multiple changes. In complete contrast to last time, we’ve all backed El Tri which probably means that South Korea will win. Sigh.
Lump On Layun
Cameron and Dan have got the train to ‘obvious city’ and have opted for Vela and Chicharito respectively as their first goalscorer. It’s a shame to be fair because they’re wrong. If my memory serves me correctly, Layun had the most shots on Sunday within the Mexican ranks and I’m banking on more of the same. This time, one to go in would be nice. Just as a bit of a side note, he is 20/21 to have a shot on target against Korea which is barbaric. I’ve heard of free money, but bloody hell. That’s with UniBet, in case you’re wondering.
We’ve all gone after the half-hour mark for the goal which is interesting when you consider that Mexico were knocking on the door before they scored against Germany. Korea will probably score after five minutes and mess everything up. An early corner is a given, of that much I am sure. Cards are much more difficult to predict. There are so many different variables that you have to take into consideration. For example, Mexico’s first yellow card came in the 39th minute against the Krauts, yet that only came about because they took the lead. It also depends on the ref. And VAR. Don’t get me started on that.
Dan sits top by ten points after one game. Who will be top after the second? You decide! Well, you don’t, but it sounds more dramatic that way!
Until the next time.