Hello to one and all. Mexico finally got around to announcing their final squad on Monday and that also means that we now know who has what shirt number. I’m somewhat of shirt number traditionalist. You know what I mean, don’t you? Number one is the goalie, number thirteen as sub goalie, so on and so forth. That’s a thought in itself, I’ve never seen an outfield player wearing the number one shirt. Someone is bound to have done it. After a little browse on Google, it turns out Edgar Davids did just that for Barnet. What a world we live in. Let’s have a mooch at the final squad and their shirt numbers.
Of course, we are going to run through the numbers in chronological order, no favouritism here lads. So, Juan Carlos Osorio has picked his team, did he pick the numbers though? I have no idea. Anyway, buckle up, here we go…
#1 Jose Corona (Cruz Azul)
When we went through the keepers, we knew that they weren’t going to change as they were only three in the preliminary squad. Anyway, the fact that Jose ‘Jesus’ Corona has got the number one shirt suggests he’s going to be starting. Right? Definitely not. Ochoa will be starting. He should be.
#2 Hugo Ayala (Tigres UANL)
Hmm, Hugo is a centre-back by trade. His shirt number makes him a right-back. It seems like the Mexicans don’t give a shit about my desire for tradition. If Reyes & Moreno are fit, Ayala won’t start. I think.
#3 Carlos Salcedo (Eintracht Frankfurt)
They are just taking the piss now. Number three is meant for left-backs and left-backs only. Where does Salcedo play? Centre-back. Brilliant.
#4 Rafa Marquez (Atlas)
Marquez is a centre-half. WHY HAS HE GOT NUMBER FOUR? Number four is meant for holding midfielders. Everyone knows that. In hindsight, I guess Marquez used to play there a while ago. According to his shirt number, he’ll be playing there again.
#5 Diego Reyes (Porto)
Praise the lord! Finally one how it should be. Reyes is a centre-half and he has a number meant for a centre-half. What a delight.
#6 Jonathan dos Santos (LA Galaxy)
According to all things shirt numbers, dos Santos is going to be partnering Reyes at the heart of the defence. He’s not. He will be playing in midfield. Something is telling me that Mexico aren’t taking this whole shirt number thing seriously, are they?
#7 Miguel Layun (Sevilla)
With this whole shirt number lark, I am presuming that Mexico will be playing 4-4-2 which I know isn’t the most used formation in football nowadays. By that logic, Layun will be right-midfield. HE’S A LEFT-BACK. Mexico are twisting my melon man.
#8 Marco Fabian (Eintracht Frankfurt)
This is bang on the money, as well. Fabian plays as an attacking-midfielder which is permitted as he is wearing the number eight shirt. Anyone who is worth their salt knows that number four hold and number eight pushes on. Seriously, everyone knows.
#9 Raul Jimenez (Benfica)
Jimenez has gone bold here. He’s having Raul on the back of his shirt. Talk about putting pressure on yourself. At least he’s got the right shirt number for a striker.
#10 Giovani dos Santos (LA Galaxy)
In the 4-4-2 formation that I’m using in my head, number ten partners number nine up to. Gio is not a striker. There’s a chance he might not even make the starting line-up. Fab.
#11 Carlos Vela (Los Angeles FC)
This isn’t the end of the world. Vela is going to be playing left-midfield according to his shirt number. He’s a striker by trade, but he could possibly play out wide. Interesting stuff.
#12 Alfredo Talavera (Deportivo Toluca)
I’m not so sure where I stand on this. Talavera is a keeper and number thirteen is meant for keepers, rather than twelve. Number twelve is pretty irrelevant so we’ll let this one go.
#13 Guillermo Ochoa (Standard Liege)
Ochoa is sub keeper apparently. No he isn’t. He’s going to be number one. Why has he got number thirteen then, I hear you ask? The system is flawed! Abandon ship.
#14 Javier Hernandez (West Ham United)
Now, you would think that Chicharito would start for Mexico. He has a wealth of experience and has bagged countless goals for El Tri, nonetheless, if his shirt number is anything to go by, he’ll be on the bench.
#15 Hector Moreno (Real Sociedad)
If Moreno shakes off his knock, he will start. Quite why he’s ended up with the number fifteen is a mystery. Fifteen is a lot like twelve, a nothing number.
#16 Hector Herrera (Porto)
Sixteen is a number I associate with a silky player coming off the bench and making a difference. Not Herrera, oh no. He’s a box-to-box midfielder and a very good one at that. He should be number four instead of Marquez. Play the game, lads.
#17 Jesus Corona (Porto)
This is about right, as well. A winger who will come off the bench to cause some damage. No arguments here.
#18 Andres Guardado (Real Betis)
Providing he’s fit, Guardado is likely to captain Mexico in Russia. Why would number eighteen be your captain? I don’t know. I’ve lost all faith in the numbers.
#19 Oribe Peralta (Club America)
Peralta won’t be playing as he’s number nineteen. Those are the rules. Sorry, Oribe.
#20 Javier Aquino (Tigres UANL)
Again, another one who won’t be playing. Unlike Peralta, Aquino probably will. Personally, I wouldn’t play him, I’m not the gaffer though. Not yet.
#21 Edson Alvarez (Club America)
Strictly there as an understudy to Reyes and Moreno. His shirt number reflects this. He’s more than capable of filling their shoes if he gets on.
#22 Hirving Lozano (PSV Eindhoven)
Lozano has had a fantastic season in Eindhoven with PSV and deserves a chance in Russia. While the number twenty-two may not say he’s going to be featuring much, he’s a cracking player to have in the squad.
#23 Jesus Gallardo (Pumas UNAM)
Jesus is just there to make the numbers up. Hell, it’s a free holiday, what’s not to love?
Just to show you what level of disregard Mexico have for the tradition of shirt numbers, here is how the starting XI would look if it went the way it should.
Bear that in mind. Here is how they will probably line up (if they were to go 4-4-2)…
Only one player in the ‘right’ position. Absolutely livid. Some would ask what the point of this article was. I would have to agree with them. At least you learnt about Mexico’s final squad. That’s a bit of a bonus, isn’t it? There you go then, back down and wind your neck in. Have a couple of tins and enjoy the rest of your day.
Until the next time.